Chief Peacekeeper declines joint request from PeopleFirst and the Government for
The Government has successfully headed off this year’s fourteenth attempt by PeopleFirst
to oust it. ‘They thought they’d found another loophole,’ said Government Fixer
Quint Colstares. ‘But as usual it was just a misunderstanding by idiots.’
‘This is the usual evasion by the Government,’ said Crosten Prise Mestashter, Executive
Director of citizens’ pressure group PeopleFirst. ‘There is no misunderstanding.
The Falstred Declaration of 1152 states clearly that no government may remain in
office for more than a century. This government has been in office for than 500
years! We plan to take this one to the courts.’
The Government’s response to this point has been unequivocal. ‘Fuck the Falstred
Declaration,’ said Colstares when the point was put to him this morning by our reporter.
‘Who cares what it says in some fusty old document from almost a thousand years
ago. We’ve been voted in, and that’s what counts. Prise Mestashter and his PeopleFirst
agitators should respect the fact that we’ve been voted in, and that’s all there
is to it.’
Nevertheless, PeopleFirst are unlikely to give up any time soon. ‘They challenge
the whole basis of the Government’s authority,’ says our Political Editor Gurns Cresmy.
‘If they don’t take this technical point to the courts, they’ll start looking for
another one. This is their eighth attempt to oust the government this year. You’d
be a fool to bet it will be their last.’