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Top publicist Prast Berhaminous is promising big things with the launch of his new celebrity later this month, as the star season gets properly under way.

‘This is going to be like nothing you’ve ever seen before,’ he said, when pressed for details after his photocall yesterday with eccentric Encountrist Glorban Asquant.  ‘The star season has been stale for some years now, with the same old celebrity archetypes being trotted out year after year.  For me, the only exciting launch last year was Kirkby Mulches.  I know that polyamorous hardcore sex celebrities aren’t to everyone’s taste, but I thought it showed a bit of dash and spice that was missing from the rest of the year’s lineup.  It’s a real shame that Kirkby has been delisted already.  I thought he made a great celebrity, a real change from the big-boobed shopping jockeys that are getting so boring.’

But when asked if his new celebrity was going to major in salacious sexploits, Berhaminous said no.  ‘It’s not a mainstream taste, I know.  Only people in the industry really appreciate the finesse and class required to pull of the role of a mainstream sex-based celebrity.  I’m going in a different direction entirely this year.  It’s going to blow your socks off!’

Competitors were less enthusiastic.  ‘Prast’s glory days are long behind him,’ said top slebmaestro Harma Fug.  ‘Nowadays he’s just wasting his time with weird ideas that he hopes will be the Next Big Thing, but are just gimmicks.  The public knows what it wants in its celebrities, and you have to deliver a quality version of that, not try to persuade them that they want something else.’

Celebrity unveiling promises to break new ground