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Firsties plan rural push

First Metropolitan Church plans tour of ‘hard to reach’ areas.

The First Metropolitan Church has announced a plan to conduct a series of services in remote parts of the country.  Although the Firsts are overwhelmingly an urban congregation, they do regularly stage services and other events in rural areas.  What’s different about this plan, however, is the ministers who will be preaching.  Normally rural tours are used as a kind of training ground for new clerics, and services are poorly attended.  People in rural areas tend to favour the more laid-back style of the Old Century Chartists or, in northern locales, a network of small squabbling churches falling loosely under the collective term Fundamentalists.

But the Firsts’ new tour will take some of their biggest stars to outlying areas.  Dean Samon Corioli, last year’s biggest-selling preacher, says the plan will fit neatly with his own upcoming tour of smaller venues.  He’ll be joined by Cardinal Drusk Tendaster, one of the Firsts’ most established stars and a big draw with older fans, and Senior Tendy Wassinger, who preaches so rarely nowadays that his appearance will be seen as an event in itself.

‘We’re always looking for new ways to connect to new people,’ said Corioli in a press release yesterday.  ‘My fellow preachers and I are looking forward to the chance to bring Truth through Music to some of our friends we don’t see so often.  We’re also planning some fun mash-ups with the Chartists and Fundamentalists that’ll knock your socks off!’

Firsties plan rural push