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Humanitarian of the Year announced

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2010’s Consumer of the Year named

Dendridge Orfling says he’s aiming for next year’s crown too!

Entire town Subjected en masse

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Citizenship Headlines
Citizenship Top

Dendridge Orfling isn’t a man to do things by halves.  Posing for photographers in his kitchen yesterday, he demonstrated some of the determination and attention to detail that have won him this year’s coveted title of Consumer of the Year.

 

‘These are my recyclers,’ he beamed, indicating a row of four of the gleaming aluminium devices.  ‘I have one for food, one for packaging, one for clothing (I don’t wear a pair of socks twice!) and one for everything else.’  When a reporter pointed out that all recyclers can recycle anything you put into them, Orfling was unfazed.  ‘I’m guessing that it makes things easier for them at the other end,’ he said, then added, ‘I’m trying to source a larger recycler, actually, so I can recycle these recyclers at the end of the year.  I buy new ones annually.  I just think it makes sense from a health and safety perspective.’

 

Government Citizenship Minister Upstine Tartrous was on hand to award Orfling his prize:  a Central Bank line of credit, unlimited for as many purchases as the winner cares to make over the course of the coming year.  As Tartrous explained when asked why the government didn’t simply award a cash prize, they don’t want to encourage irresponsible spending.  ‘The winner will take more care if they know they have to pay it back.’

 

‘In any case,’ he continued, ‘I have every confidence that Dendridge Orfling will continue to stand as an example to citizens throughout the land.  He’s an admirable example of what sustainable spending can achieve.’

 

When asked what he plans to acquire in the coming year that could possibly fit into a home already jam-packed with consumer durables, Orfling gave an unexpected reply:  ‘A wife!’

2010’s Consumer of the Year named